Why Do We Wait Until We’re Dying to Reclaim Our Bodies?
A few weeks ago, I started watching Dying for Sex.
If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a woman named Molly who gets a terminal cancer diagnosis — and decides to finally live the sexual life she never allowed herself to have.
For years, she’d been disconnected from her body. Performing the version of womanhood she thought she was supposed to. Staying quiet about what she wanted. Playing it safe.
Then suddenly — faced with her own mortality — she asks: Why not now? Why not me?
That question stuck with me.
Why do so many of us wait until we’re dying to give ourselves permission to explore our bodies, our desires, and our joy?
Of course, I get it.
We live in a world where sexual misadventures can be harmful.
Where the patriarchy — and the culture it breeds — constantly tells us that our bodies should be policed, judged, and controlled.
Where “good girls” aren’t supposed to be curious.
Where shame is weaponized against us — especially as Black and Brown women.
We’ve been raised in a world that teaches us:
✨ That sexuality is dangerous or shameful
✨ That our bodies are to be controlled or policed
✨ That our pleasure isn’t a priority — or worse, that it’s a problem
And when you’ve spent years swimming in that kind of messaging, it’s no wonder so many of us disconnect from our own sensuality.
For a long time, I thought that was just how it had to be. That there would always be shame attached to wanting more. That I had to wait for the “right” partner, or the “right” circumstances, to start exploring who I was — fully, unapologetically.
But life has a way of showing you what you’re tired of carrying.
In my case, I realized: I didn’t want to wait for tragedy to give myself permission.
I didn’t want to look up one day, years from now, and realize I’d spent a lifetime holding parts of myself back — for a world that was never going to give me the freedom I deserved.
So I started choosing myself — on purpose.
And that choice became what I now call: Heaux Season.
If you’re new here — Heaux Season is not about being reckless, or trying to impress anyone.
It’s not about “acting wild” because the internet told you to.
Heaux Season is about choosing you.
✨ Choosing your body — to be loved, explored, cared for.
✨ Choosing your desires — without shame or apology.
✨ Choosing pleasure — as part of your well-being, not as an afterthought.
✨ Choosing to reclaim what the world tried to take from you.
And when you start living that way, everything begins to shift.
You stop dating for validation.
You stop masking your desires.
You stop waiting for a partner to give you what you can create for yourself.
And instead, you start building a life that feels like yours — sensual, joyful, whole.
That’s what inspired me to create:
[👉 How to Have a Happy & Healthy Heaux Season — Free Guide]
Because no woman should have to wait until she’s dying to feel alive in her body.
I spent weeks interviewing some of my favorite sex and wellness experts — asking them:
How do we unlearn the shame that so many of us carry?
How do we reconnect with pleasure, in ways that feel safe and authentic?
How do we avoid burnout in a dating and hookup culture that often asks us to perform, not feel?
Those conversations — with therapists, faith leaders, and sexual wellness coaches — shaped this guide.
It’s not about being reckless or trying to impress anyone.
It’s about reclaiming what was always yours:
✨ Your pleasure
✨ Your curiosity
✨ Your body — on your terms
Inside, you’ll find:
✅ Journal prompts to help you explore what you want
✅ Boundaries that feel like freedom — not fear
✅ Practices to reconnect with your body (even if you’ve felt disconnected for years)
✅ Tips for navigating pleasure without burnout
✅ A playlist to get you in the right energy this season 🎶
If you’ve been craving a season where you:
💛 Feel good in your skin
💛 Take up space unapologetically
💛 Explore intimacy without shame or pressure
Start here:
[👉 Download your free guide]
You don’t have to wait for a wake-up call.
You don’t have to keep silencing what your body is asking for.
This season — this life — is for you.
With love,
Fanny 💛
